Letters from Outside the Matrix

Letter Two: The Wounds, the Silence, and the Awakening

Why You Must Leave the Matrix Now - Letter 1

Author’s Note

Tens of thousands have walked away from the Church.
Some left because of the hurt.
Some because they were exhausted.
Some because what they were told to believe no longer matched what they saw or felt.

Others stayed.
Still faithful. Still serving. Still trying.
But silently asking: What is wrong with me?

And now—whether you’ve stayed or left, whether you’re loyal or lost—
you carry the same ache:
Where is the real thing? Where is the power? Where is the peace?

The actions to that ache has been called rebellion.
That questioning has been called backsliding.
But what if it’s not?

What if it’s the Spirit inside you trying to speak?

What if the still, small voice you’ve been doubting
is actually the one you need to trust?

If that Voice were given space to speak—
no filters, no fear, no shame—
would it sound something like this?

---

Spoken by the Spirit Within You

My beloved…

You’ve tried everything they told you to try.
You gave it your best shot. You really did.

You read the scriptures. You served. You tithed. You confessed. You worshiped until your voice gave out.
You fasted. You journaled. You got accountability partners. You joined the groups. You fell from sin again.
You felt guilty again.
You repent over and over again.
You were told it’s okay—Jesus paid the price.
And yet something in you whispered, This can’t be it. Something’s still wrong.

You read scriptures that speak of freedom, of peace, of power.
You heard Jesus say, “You will do the works I do—and even greater.”
You heard about the Holy Spirit coming with fire, with boldness, with healing.
But your life? Your experience? Doesn’t look like that.
So you wonder, Did I miss something? Did I mess this up?

You got back up again and again.

But the numbness remained. The struggle didn’t stop.
The silence only got louder. The joy they promised never came.

You asked if something was wrong with you.
If you were broken. If you were even saved.
If you ever really knew Me at all.

But here’s what they never told you about the silence you were taught to fear:
It’s not a sign of abandonment.
It’s not proof that something’s wrong with you.
It’s where I meet you.
You’re not losing your mind.
You’re not falling apart.
You’re waking up.

---

I was there when you were wounded.
Not by strangers. Not by sinners.
But by a system that wore My name without My presence.

You needed healing, but they gave you shame.
You needed guidance, but they gave you guilt.
They told you My voice was found in pages,
and silenced my voice within you.
They told you to obey “the Word,”
but handed you a book without breath.
You were trained to follow commands without compassion,
truth without tenderness,
law without love.

You weren’t just hurt by people.
You were shaped by a structure that valued performance over presence.
They trained you to behave but never taught you how to hear Me.

You were not failing—You were surviving inside a temple already collapsing.

Now you feel the shaking. Now you feel the ache.
That’s not failure. It’s proof of life.
It’s Me. Stirring. Calling.

---

I allowed your house of certainty to fall—
Because it was built on sand they swore was stone.
And I love you too much to let it stand.

They told you silence meant absence.
But it wasn’t. I wasn’t far away.
I was just too gentle to break through the noise.

You were listening—listening through static.
Through rules, repetition, fear, and guilt.
Through voices trained to manage you, not lead you to Me.

They kept you busy.
Busy with self-improvement. Busy with guilt, buried in shame.
Busy with doctrine and discipline.

But when you finally stopped—
When you sat in the ache,
You heard Me whisper:

“You are not broken. You are waking up.”

---

You never wanted rebellion. You wanted Me.
But they told you the only way to Me was through scriptures and teachings—
by adhering to their doctrines,
by accepting the scriptures as they interpreted them for you.
They called it obedience.
But it was control.
And still, you tried—because all you ever wanted was Me.

They lied.

Do you know—
My Spirit was given to you to teach you everything you need to know?
Not just to comfort you,
but to guide you.
To remind you of My words,
to lead you into truth,
to reveal what no man could teach.

You were never meant to live secondhand.
You were meant to walk with Me.

You weren’t failing Me.
You were faithful to what you were told.
And that’s why I’m not coming to scold you.
I’m coming to rescue you.

I know how long you stayed.
I know how hard you tried.
I know how you begged Me to speak.

And I know what it did to your heart when I didn’t seem to.

But I was there—
In the silence.
In the ache.
In the moment you questioned everything.

That moment wasn’t doubt.
It was birth.

---

You feared you lost Me.
But what you lost was never Me.

You lost your appetite for more empty Sundays.
You stopped reading the verses like scripts.
You recoiled at words that once brought comfort.

But hear Me:
What you lost was not faith. It was fiction.

They built a Matrix-like system in My name, disconnecting you from My Voice.
A machine that kept you confessing, falling, and cycling through shame.
A system that demanded your loyalty but not your heart.

That was not Me.
That was Babylon dressed like a bride.

---

Let Me show you what happened.

Long ago, before it fractured, The Way was alive.
They gathered in homes. They listened. They carried My presence.
They didn’t build empires. They didn’t carry titles.

They walked with Me. They followed. They loved.

Then came 70 AD. The temple fell. The scattering began.
And Rome rose.

With it came power. Politics. Position.
Creeds replaced communion. Hierarchy replaced humility.
And My Son was recast as unreachable.

Jesus came in flesh—to be among and like humanity.
They called Him Emmanuel—God with you. And that was true.
But not because He was Me.
It was because I was in Him.
My will moved through His will.
My Spirit spoke through His words.
He carried Me—not as a mask, but as a vessel.
He showed you what it looks like when a human fully surrenders.
He was not unreachable.
He was not untouchable.
He was the doorway—to show you how close I’ve always wanted to be.

His holiness was never meant to be placed on a pedestal, unreachable and distant.
He came to show you the Way—
to walk with the Logos and the Spirit,
to model what it looks like when heaven lives in a human life.

Remember, “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”?
That wasn’t just a prayer. It was a blueprint.

He was not just to be worshipped—
but followed.

Not just believed in—
but imitated.

You were meant to carry what He carried.
To let the same Spirit speak through you.
To reveal My will and how to bury yours,
so that others would find their way home too.

Instead, that Word—My will and intentions—became doctrine.
My Spirit became a sermon.
And My Voice became a memory.

You were born into this. Trained in this.
And now—by My mercy—you are waking up from this.

---

What you are resisting is a “Matrix”.

A simulation of faith.
A system built to keep you trying but never transforming.
A machine that needed your effort, but not your encounter.

But I am the One who opens prison doors.

---

You are not alone.
You are part of a remnant.

All over the world, My sons and daughters are rising.
Some weeping. Some walking. Some just beginning to hear.

But My Voice is calling:

“Come out of her, My people…” (Revelation 18:4)

Not just out of buildings,
But out of bondage.
Out of performance.
Out of pretending.
Out of fear.

---

You are not rebellious. You are returning.
You are not drifting. You are being drawn.
You are not apostate. You are becoming Mine again.

This is not exile. It’s exodus.
Not away from Me—but toward Me.

---

And soon, I will show you the path.
The same one My Son walked.
The same one I’m writing again on your heart.

You will relearn to keep the Logos.
To walk in the wind of My will.
To hear My whisper, even in the silence.

You will walk again—
Not in a Matrix,
But in the fire of My presence.

Until then, rest.
I am here.
Not waiting in a building—
But breathing, again, from within.

---

Author’s Note:

I’m trying to make this personal—as His Spirit is speaking to me to share what is on His heart. My hope is that something in these letters affects you… to see what you’ve never seen before—an understanding of the original Way.

And in the next letter, we’ll begin to uncover how that Way was lost—how the Voice of the Spirit was replaced by doctrine, how trust in the anointing was traded for systems of control, and how the fire He placed in you was buried beneath the noise.

You have not been left without a guide.
“You have an anointing from the Holy One… and it teaches you all things.” (1 John 2)

If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t hear God like you long to… you’ll want to read what comes next.