Hi Everyone,
I just discovered that my profile wasn’t displaying any of my posts. Thankfully, that issue is now fixed, and you should be able to see everything I’ve written. Thank you so much for reading posts inspired by our Heavenly Father. My desire, is for readers to hunger for God as much as I did, and encounter the book of Acts in their life.
I have a series called “Fired, Molded, and Set Apart”—12 articles detailing my journey, from the beginning of my salvation (#1) to an encounter with a legion of demons (#12). Everything in between showcases the works of the Holy Spirit in my life.
Additionally, I have:
A section, “Lessons Learned”, dedicated to lessons I learned in Holy Spirit School (more about that below).
An Anthology Section—a collection of writings inspired by the Holy Spirit this year.
How My Writing Journey Began
When I started Substack, my intention was to compile parts of a book about my journey. However, after the new year, the Lord began waking me at 4:00 AM, calling me to tithe my time to Him—again, for the third time. Since then, my writing direction has shifted; I now write only what He leads me to share.
My proposed book’s prologue post, “God Wants My Time,” is still available under the Life’s Journey section. In it, I recount all the details of how the Lord first asked me to tithe my time in 1985. At that time, I experienced something extraordinary:
For two years, I was awakened every day at exactly 4:00 AM by the sound of non-audible music, calling me into study. Each morning, I entered His school. My family and I had just undergone a second horrific departure from church and decided to separate ourselves from the dogma of those unwilling to serve in love. I felt the Father no longer wanted me to learn from man but to learn directly from the Holy Spirit, as per Scripture.
Two Years Alone With God
Yes—school. Two years alone with God in my basement, with my Bible, personally taught by Him, without any outside influences.
Each morning, after worship and prayer, I would go silent and wait for His direction. He would lead me to a scripture reference, which launched a journey of cross-referencing, questioning, and assembling pieces like a puzzle. Once I understood a topic—like faith—God would allow life events to reinforce the lesson through experience. Meanwhile, a new topic would emerge.
Here’s something incredible:
Each week, my wife took our children to the library. While waiting for them, she would browse for herself. Every so often, a book would catch her attention, and she felt inspired to bring it home to me.
The books she chose—without knowing why—always aligned perfectly with the topic I had just finished studying and practicing. For example: I finished learning about Job’s story and she brought me a book by Bob Sorge called, “The Fire of Delayed Answers”.
I never told her what I was learning. I didn’t share my lessons until I fully understood and could live them—at which point, my family would learn together—ones that would benefit them.
An Encounter with the Spirit of the Fear of the Lord
One of my studies focused on the character of God the Father—His names, patience, and nature.
During this lesson, I encountered Isaiah 11:2, which speaks of the Spirit of the Lord and its seven attributes.
One of them—the Spirit of the Fear of the Lord—stood out to me.
I had never encountered this Spirit of Fear before. Yet, for some reason, I felt inspired to know it personally. What better way than to invite it upon me?
So I prayed:
“Holy Father, may the Spirit of the Fear of the Lord come down upon me.”
Immediately, something soft touched the top of my head.
In an instant, I was on the floor—trembling in absolute terror.
I know this sounds unusual, but this fear was from God. It was the purest, holiest, most overwhelming reverence I had ever known.
Even demons tremble in His presence.
“Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord.” — Psalm 114:7
“It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” — Hebrews 10:31
God’s presence reveals all hidden sin. It leaves nothing concealed and strikes terror into the unrighteous. Even Isaiah, when he saw the Lord, cried out:
“Woe is me! For I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips…” — Isaiah 6:5
And yet—even in the midst of that overwhelming fear, there was also love.
I don’t know how long I lay there, trembling and crying. It was too long—long enough to leave a mark on my life that will never leave.
If obedience had ever been an issue for me before, this encounter cured me of it.
From that day forward, I listened intently for His voice. My spiritual hearing improved. And when He spoke, the only words that came from my lips were:
“Yes, sir.”
The Lesson of the Fear of Man
Not long after, the Lord gave me another lesson—undoing the fear of man.
10 years earlier, 1992, I had disobeyed a direct order from God because I was afraid of what others would think. I had an opportunity to save a man’s life, but fear held me back. The guilt and remorse were unbearable.
One evening, a man with a strong presence of evil began attending our church prayer group. I could feel the demonic influence on him.
During small-group prayer, the Father told me:
“Command that demon bound.”
I had cast out many demons before, but I had always respected the individual’s will. This was different. This was a direct order.
But I hesitated.
I disobeyed.
That night, I went home in shame and remorse.
When Fear Crippled Me
That Sunday, I stood in the sanctuary when I saw the same man enter the building.
The moment our eyes met, I saw a black form fly toward me.
I physically felt an impact on my chest. Fear overwhelmed me.
That single moment crippled my work for God. I walked away from everything the Holy Spirit was leading me in.
Months later, alone with the Father, He set me free.
But I never pursued deliverance ministry again.
God’s Final Lesson: The Cave of Fear
During the same month that I encountered the Spirit of the Fear of the Lord, I received a vision:
I was walking toward a mountain with a dark cave opening.
When I stepped inside, a cold, spine-chilling fear wrapped around my entire being.
Then I heard the Lord say:
“Now stand and endure that feeling for a while.”
After a few minutes, He spoke again:
“Now compare that fear to My Spirit of the Fear of the Lord.”
At that moment, I understood.
Neither the enemy nor man has any fear comparable to the presence of God.
A Decade in the Fire
Near the end of my two-year training, I studied Job—his suffering, endurance, and transformation.
Inspired through the book of Job and the writings of Bob Sorge, I prayed for what I called:
“The Baptism of Fire.”
I wanted to be refined. I wanted everything in my life that did not serve His Kingdom to be burned away.
The fire began immediately—small at first, but growing until it nearly cost me my life.
I found myself in a hospital, weeks from certain death. My heart was functioning at only 12%, causing fluid buildup throughout my body. My muscles were deteriorating from excessive cortisol steroids due to adrenal dysfunction. I needed both adrenal glands removed, and I didn’t know if I would survive the operation.
Accepting that God’s will might be to take me, I continued serving other patients and praising Him as if nothing was wrong.
I underwent two operations, one for each adrenal gland. With my hormones that respond to fear now removed, my body began to heal.
This refining process lasted ten years—a relentless trial of health struggles, traumatic brain injury, financial losses, and legal battles with insurance companies.
Ten years of trials by fire, a noticeable conclusion arrived and, one day, the Father spoke:
“I am pleased with My handiwork,” the Father said. “I am placing you on My shelf to be admired.”
For years, I thought that meant I was sidelined forever and moved on to enjoy 12 years without trials and what the blessings restore everything and then many times more.
But then—on January 1, 2025, I was called.
Now, I am here for whatever purpose He has. I no longer belong to myself.
I hope you’ll stick around to see what the Lord will do.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your interest.
God bless you all,
Erik aka Desert Sage aka Adir-Dor-Yahu—"The Mighty One of the Generation is Yahweh"
This is very encouraging. Thank you brother for sharing some of your personal experiences & encounters with heavenly father. And we certainly do at times literally tremble in fear before His utmost glory when He reveals & allows such glimpses to overshadow us, as we are left in absolute awe and reverance at His incredible irresistible majesty & magnificence when we pray before our Living Holy father as Almighty All Powerful Creator God, understanding we are but a speck dust & ashes before Him and He remembers out of His most undeserving love towards us our frame, everything laid bare and exposed naked before Him, knowing we are indeed but mere dust & feeble, the created and fallen broken humbled before His infinite incomparable prominence, importance, impressive illustrious, loftiness greatness, splendour, genius beauty. Grasping we could be obliterated in that moment by His overwhelming Holiness of presence & not to be irreverent before Him nor taking Him for granted, but owing Him all the honour He so rightfully deserves and is indeed entitled to. And yet He willingly stoops down to interact with His spirit filled sons & daughters because of His beloved Son Jesus Yeshua made the only way possible. Just amazing the huge privilege gift blessing and present to be able to enter into His presence and holy intimacy is always open to us 24/7 & that He desires to even want to bother to interact with us is just so seriously mind blowing! To become His friend and respond to His love with love in absolute obedience empowered by His Spirit and the huge debt we can never ever repay to Him, how we can not want to bring Him all the praises honour and glory from not just our lips our mouths but our entire hearts lives and being?